Texting While Taking a Poo - All Occasions Fart Card


Shipping to United States: Free

Roses are red, violets are blue, inside this card..... LITERALLY smells like someone took a greasy dump inside of this card. From the outside of this card it looks like a cute little card, but once opened it releases a stinky liquid ass smell.

+ The Original Fart Bomb Card!

+ The perfect birthday card for anyone you hate, or even mildly dislike! They may not be pleased, and neither will everyone else in the room. In fact, you'll probably be the only one laughing!

+ Open the card for.... farts.

+ They will probably hate you for giving them this, inside their nice house that normally smells like flowers.

+ SO MUCH FUN - you will remember the looks on their faces forever - a real crowd pleaser!

+ We love our customers! Have confidence in buying from us - we strive to make every customer 100% happy!


Our customers love our products!

“This card was a huge hit with my family(except for my my mom lol). I’m so happy with this purchase, it was perfect. I took a video of everyone’s reaction and my sister tweeted it and tagged @crude_cat. Thank you all so much! ” - Andy D.



DISCLAIMER: This card is filled with liquid ass stinky drops inside a wax seal. This means that it can only be used ONCE so don't "try it out" before it gets to its intended recipient. You won't be able to smell the liquid ass until the card is opened.


FRONT: "Roses are red, violets are blue, sometimes I text you..."

INSIDE: "While taking a poo"

CARD SIZE: 4.25 x 5.50 inches
PAPER: Made on quality, 12 pt cardstock.
PACKAGING: Cellophane wrapped for delivery. Includes white envelope.


Our cards are designed to crack your friends and family up!

We know you'll love what you get from us!


Ships fast - within 1-3 business days of ordering. Shipping upgrades available at checkout!

Standard shipping times:

Canada: Two to six business days
United States: Five to ten business days
Everywhere else: Six to fourteen business days

**Business days are considered Monday to Friday; not including holidays.**

Shipping from Canada

Processing time

1-2 business days

Estimated shipping times

  • Canada : 2 - 6 business days
  • United States : 5 - 10 business days

I'll do my best to meet these shipping estimates, but can't guarantee them. Actual delivery time will depend on the shipping method you choose.

Customs and import taxes

Buyers are responsible for any customs and import taxes that may apply. I'm not responsible for delays due to customs.

Payment Options

Secure options
  • Accepts Etsy gift cards

Returns & Exchanges

I don't accept returns, exchanges, or cancellations

But please contact me if you have any problems with your order.

Frequently Asked Questions

Shipping and Delivery

All our greeting cards ship via Canada Post Letter Mail with no tracking.

*Canadian Orders are estimated to be delivered in 2-6 BUSINESS DAYS (but can take longer)

*USA Orders are estimated to be delivered in 5-10 BUSINESS DAYS (but can take longer)

Business days are considered Monday to Friday; not including holidays.

Processing time does not include shipping time.

Order will not be refunded if your holiday or event date is missed.

Shipping Address

Please ensure the address provided on the invoice is correct. We are not responsible for items lost due to an incorrect or incomplete address. If you need to change your shipping address after the order is placed, please message me as soon as possible to ensure the card is sent to the correct address.


All cards are shipped via Canada Post Letter Mail and do not include tracking.

If tracking is required; upgrading shipping is available in the checkout.

Sizing details

Our cards are size A2 (4.25" x 5.5") and come with a white envelope.

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